How to Send a Nastygram?

I had an issue last year with a coworker acting a bit below his status — less professional than his position should require. I may be a bit sensitive to this simply because this sort of thing is critically bad in the military and every management and leadership book I’ve read. Sometimes I wonder if that’s a benefit or a curse.

Due to being geographically separated and always on-the-move, it was logistically impossible to meet up and discuss. I’m not one to let an issue sit and fester, nor am I one to discuss with everyone around to get them to fix my problems (like some Passive-Aggressive) — I’d rather address things head-on. This is the best I came up with trying not to be overly harsh, yet setting him back on his heels that this sort of thing never ends well. Let’s call him “Ron”:

Hi Ron;

You’re chastising me in a broadcast email, this tends to cast a poor impression that is difficult to repair. Some professionals chastise in private, especially when they have unchecked suspicions. You may not realize that it also makes you appear difficult to work with.

You don’t know that I told the customer about interval-vs-total, but you’re assuming I didn’t. It might be better to confirm assumptions.

You haven’t given me anything concrete that I can take back to the customer, there’s a lot of “doesn’t look” and “looks to me” which we’ve tried to depend on before without success.

Chastising me publicly on poor assumptions while giving me no benefit tends to sour working relationships, something those in leadership roles tend to have to learn through the bridges burned. I hope you can reconsider this habit.

In the end, we have to work together: that’s why I’m sending this to you in a private email to see if we can avoid tainting this relationship.

How would you write this?


August Travel: BVI, USVI, Panama, Other?

Thinking on where to go for August — although very soon after July in Vegas, it coincides with some other peoples’ available vacation times.

I only have 9 Comp Days right now, I would probably travel on comp. I’d be wanting to hook up with HO, TS, and AK, but if there was agreeable visa status for Chinese, WD could also join — you all know who you are — so that’s why I intend to grow this post over a few days of research. This is simply an easy way to track down my notes if someone else is interested.

loc interest Visa issues?
BVI HO, TS US: might be UK Visa
CN: easier with UK past?
US fly-thru?
Panama AK CN/US same: $5 Visa-on-Arrival
see also: CN US
no serious crime issue
CN: LAX fly-thru needs C-1 Visa
via DS-160 and app fee
CN: As difficult as US?
US fly thru as well?

How To Detect The Worst Shipper

April 26 my home was packed up in London.

The shipper had so many errors in the destination address, only the country and zipcode has any resemblance to accuracy.

In the following weeks, the company has told me:

  1. What? Your stuff hasn’t arrived yet? Oh it should only be a few more days then
  2. Your stuff is on a ship, but we don’t know which one, there’s no tracking number you can use
  3. Your stuff hasn’t shipped, it’s in our warehouse

Looks like the last one is most accurate; they asked me today (5 weeks later) for pages and pages of customs information — maybe they just realized today that New York, NY, 10035 is in a different country (the only possible error would be the word “York” in the name, ignoring all other parts of the address).

They’re also looking for a Notary Public; yeah, those are free. The chickenshit nature of after-the-fact hunting down some stranger to sign a paper for money seems both a late-term pain-in-the-ass and honouring the age-old tradition of strangers saying/writing/stamping anything for money as the basis for a fair, open, accountable administrative system.

Today they asked me the value of all contents of my home — from memory, since I haven’t even seen a manifest, much less have the time to value and depreciate each item.

Since they screwed up the actual sending of the contents, and late-realization of customs forms, I’m worried they’ll choose the Titanic as a ship to blindly toss it at with free abandon.